It was an ordinary day. You know the kind. A day full of laundry, dishes, errands, more dishes, more laundry…..the kind of day where I sort of float through it on autopilot. I mindlessly pulled a butter knife from the kitchen drawer and when I looked down at it, I stood there a little frozen for just a second. I stared down at the simple utensil. It was not particularly shiny or ornate in any way. But, right there in my ordinary kitchen on an ordinary Tuesday, I am flooded with sweet memories at the sight of it.
You see, this is a knife from my childhood. I had actually forgotten that I had it because it had been pushed to the bottom of the drawer. I guess it surfaced after bravely fighting its way up from under all the plastic knives, miscellaneous wrapped and unwrapped straws and a rogue serving fork! After both of my parents had passed, my sister and I spent months sifting through and claiming things we would take, keep, and cherish from our childhood home. I took several pieces of the flatware that we used for every meal for as long as I can remember. It’s not really all that special, I suppose. It’s not even “real” silver or sterling silver. It’s just your plain, ordinary, probably cheap, run of the mill stainless steel. It doesn’t have an intricate curly pattern or beautiful elegant flowers. It doesn’t have an imprint with the name of the pattern and a declaration of its worthiness. It does have a simple little swirl with a dot or two on the handle but that’s it. Plain, simple, reliable, sturdy….like the minivan of knives! I remember setting the table for countless family dinners where we enjoyed so many of my Mom’s everyday meals. We loved her homemade soup and cornbread. My Dad would always have a side of jello with dollop of mayonnaise. I know! Yuck! Don’t even get me started on just how wrong that is! The point is that we used this flatware to eat it all.
As I am holding it, a thought occurs to me. To most people this would simply appear to be a completely ordinary, not so special, not worth much money, possibly even disposable at some point butter knife. You might find it at a garage sale for a dime or in a bin at the Goodwill store. But, to me, this knife holds half a lifetime of memories. Memories of laughter and a home where I was loved well and cherished and cared for. It is anything but ordinary. It is extraordinary.
Sometimes I feel like that knife. I feel completely ordinary, not so special, not worth much, and sometimes even disposable. There are days I wake up feeling like I belong in the Goodwill bin! Maybe you have felt that way too. We live in a world where it seems that the only way to be valuable in any way is to be extraordinary. I often feel the need to be more like the intricately patterned, expensive “real” silver to be of any value to anyone. But this flatware reminds me that even ordinary things are extraordinary to those who appreciate and love them. The stainless, everyday knife with the swirly design on the handle served us well. It was durable, stood the test of time and now provides a tangible connection for me to a lifetime of precious memories. I can’t look at this knife without remembering the deep and nourishing love my sister and I felt in our home. I remember spending evenings at the kitchen sink chatting away with my Mom about my day while she washed and I dried the plain flatware. I am reminded of the laughter that my Dad had a way of bringing out at every family meal. He had a sarcastic wit about him which I loved and am proud to have inherited from him. When I was a little girl, I would tell my friends that my Dad was going to be a comedian when he grew up! I am reminded of my only sister and how there is something unexplainable about the bond you have with someone who has lived your whole life with you.
So, you see, this ordinary knife is extraordinary to me. It is because I love what it symbolizes to me. I see it diferently because of this. I see it through a lens of love and appreciation for its place in my life. I don’t love it any less because it is not fancy or expensive. In the same way I appreciate this knife, the people that I matter to (and who matter to me, by the way) love and appreciate the very qualities in me that I consider to be just average and not very fancy. They see me through that same love lens.
My BFF has hounded me for years to write a book. She always says this as if there’s no reason in the world I can’t be the next Elizabeth Gilbert! What is most likely an average talent in expressing myself, she sees through the love lens. My youngest son caught me singing in the car last week and said, “Hey Mom, you sing good.” I am fairly certain the boy may be partially deaf. I do not sing good…or well. Trust me when I tell you that the only thing Alicia Keys and I share is our first names. My vocal talent would likely cause some people’s teeth to hurt! But, my son hears me differently because I am extraordinary to him. I am afraid he may be losing his sight as well because he also thinks I look “beautiful” without any makeup. Bahahahahaha…..sure Noah, sure! Again, he’s looking through the love lens!
This is surely what the old saying “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is meant to convey. The interesting thing is that when I allow myself to accept and believe in what they see, I do become more beautiful and extraordinary….from the inside out. And, better still, something has now shifted in me and I am noticing that everyone I meet is unique and special in THEIR own way. I know they are extraordinary as well.
So, If you feel sometimes that you are not really shiny, sparkly, or ornate enough……remember my plain ordinary butter knife! Allow yourself to see what others see. Celebrate all of your gifts and talents no matter how average YOU think they are. I assure you that to someone you are NOT completely ordinary, not so special or not worth much and you ARE definitely not disposable! You, my friend, may actually be EXTRAORDINARILY ORDINARY!
Debbie says
Not only are your words beautiful and true in these posts, Alicia….but your photos are also amazing. Thanks for letting us into your heart and world.
Peggy Watkins says
Thank you, Alicia, for your introspective and loving post. It is beautifully said, and I totally relate to it. Loving your blog.